Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
