no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
