how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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