Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
