I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
