you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
