...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Come share oat with me in your robe
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
