Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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