she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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