Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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