no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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