i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize