Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
why is half of my head shaved?
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