shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
