you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We are all done wearing pants today
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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