On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
