i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
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Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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