i think my mom watched the whole time
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
