i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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