dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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