Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
do herpes really smell.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
