yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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