Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize