dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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