I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
