biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
