I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
A bitchslap is in order.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
