he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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