It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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