Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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