Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
