i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
