imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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