Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
