I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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