So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This baby is an asshole
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
