do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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