You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Nicole vs. Life
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
