Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
