tonight lets celebrate not being married
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
