I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize