Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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