just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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