So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Bring me that man meat
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
