its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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