singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
