i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
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If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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