Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize