I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
