I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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