I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
