You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
