I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
