Do you still have your period?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
even my farts smell like vagina
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
