That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
