is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
