No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
