By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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