I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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